


Mutual Feelings?

by KnightmareTaco



Category: Cegan - Fandom, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-21 07:15:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10680357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnightmareTaco/pseuds/KnightmareTaco
Summary: Starts around season 7, episode 7 and season 7 episode 8Carl is having some confusing thoughts about Negan and Negan totally knows!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!   
> so this is my first attempt at a fic i'm hoping i did the characters justice enough!  
> the first chapter is a little short but it's kind of just setting up for stuff to come!
> 
> i would greatly appreciate any advice people could give me about everything and anything! so please feel free to drop a comment

Carl sat in a truck, next to a saviour who honestly didn’t look all too happy to be sitting next to Carl let alone driving him back to Alexandria. As Carls waiting for Negan he overhears the end of the conversation the man is having with his right hand man.

“Simon, look after the place while I take the serial killer home.” Negan had finished giving orders to Simon and climbed into the truck next to Carl.

The truck ride back to Alexandria was a long one that was filled with bad jokes and snark comments from Negan always followed by some kind of noise from the unhappy saviour who was driving. Carl was trying his best to ignore what was being said and just focus on what had happened that day.

*As much as Carl had hated this man that had killed his friends, his family there was something that had clicked in him that almost told him he’s not all bad... he did offer and apology when he realised he hurt my feelings. Could I possibly have a crush?* Carl quickly squashed those thoughts as he tried to remember everything he had seen ready to tell his father when he got back.

Again Carl started going through what had happened that day

Carl had killed two of Negans men

Seeing the iron, still remembering the man’s skin peeling away from his face

The way Negan made him take of his bandage and sing to Negan

Negans apology to Carl.. That had been sincere?!

Carl had let out a sigh again returning to the moment that had changed his views on the older man now sitting next to him not even realising he was watching him go through all these thoughts like he knew exactly what he was thinking.

“Thinking you liked what you saw today kid?” Negan had asked with the similar grin he was always sporting

“What?!” fear and nervousness began to spread through Carl

*what did he mean by that? Did he mean him? Carl knows Negan has a twisted sense of humour but his mind still comes to the same conclusion*

“The Sanctuary... What the fuck were you thinking kid?” the grin bigger than before

Carl realises he’s fucked up, his cheeks now returning to a normal colour he simply rolls his eyes trying to blow it off continuing to look at the floor his thoughts now even more confused about how he feels. Negan simply laughs and continues to look out the window, he knows exactly what Carl was thinking he meant but didn’t want to push the kid into something he didn’t fully understand.

Suddenly without warning the truck jerked to a stop and had all three men now falling forward, Carl had been deep in thought at this point and the truck stopping had caught him off guard as he was about to be head butting the dash of the truck any second now.

Out of nowhere he feels an arm go across his chest and push him back into the seat of the truck his heart still racing turns to look as the arm belonged to Negan, Carl’s about to say something when Negan beats him to it.

“You okay kid?” again there’s that sincere look and tone in his voice that started Carls confused thoughts.

Carl keeping his cool a lot better than before simply gives Negan a reassuring nod, almost thanking him with the expression on his face. Negan opens the truck door and signals for Carl to get out, Carl does as he’s told and starts to walk towards the gate of Alexandria and signals for it to be open, behind him he can hear Negan going off at the saviour who was driving which brings the smallest of smiles to Carl as he prepares for what his father’s gonna say when he finds out.

Once Negan had finished yelling at the driver for almost sending them all through the windscreen of the truck, he rounds up his people and starts to stroll into Alexandria all the while swinging Lucille around almost playfully. Carl had let Negan walk into Alexandria before him so that he could see which direction he was going and go the complete opposite way, he stood there idly watching Lucille and her barbed wire spinning slowly almost hypnotically while Negan addresses his men, ordering them to take more of their stuff.

 “Right men start searching this homestead for anything and everything we need or could use! But only take the fucking essentials”

It pisses him off that he even has to say that but after he caught one of his men trying to take balloons from a girl about Carl’s age he knew he had to shut that shit down. Negan placed squeezed the bridge of his nose before turning to his more trusted members, Dwight and Arat.

“Dwighty boy! I want you to go check out the armoury make sure Rick isn’t hiding anything from us. Oh and make sure to talk to the talking hippo in charge of their inventory just to double check” Smirk back across his face.

“Sure thing Boss!” Dwight turned and walked off toward the armoury, stopping along the way only to antagonise Rosita some more.

“As for you Arat stick close, Make sure no one tries anything stupid. If anyone tries anything they’ll regret just fucking shoot them”

Negan with Arat trailing behind slowly stroll down one of the many streets that lined the inside of Alexandria’s walls scouring the crowds of frowns and disapproving looks looking for Rick. The two had been stopped by none other than Olivia the one person he had told Dwight to speak to.. typical, the woman look flustered and even more so seeing Arats gun pointing up at her.

“I.. I… Just came t-to tell you.. Rick isn’t here. H-he’s out scavenging for you...” Tears now forming in the corner of the woman’s eyes, panicked, darting between Negans smug grin and Arats gun aiming right at her.

“Well then just point me in the fucking direction of his house! I’ll wait for him there!”

“Bu...” Before the woman could respond Negan had interrupted her impatience now setting on the man.

“Which. Fucking. Way.”

With that Olivia pointed her finger and told him the number then darted back to the armoury where she was told Dwight will be waiting. He almost seemed excited when he walked in to see Carl confusingly staring the man down as he entered, it was decided! Him and Carl were gonna play house.

****

A little time had passed and Negan was now saying his final goodbyes to Rick making sure to get in as much smut as he could, knowing that it would annoy the man. He had done two favours for Rick today and he had to make sure to bring it to Rick’s attention just how lucky he was today!

“Well Rick, I’ll be back in two days for more of your supplies. Oh, and something extra as well”

“Extra? What else do you want?!” Rick now annoyed is staring Negan down not happy about anything that’s happened today

Negan knows what the extra is but he decides to give them a couple days to talk about the shit that went down today and let them bury or burn that fucker who is still stinking up the place.

 “A simple thank you would be fucking nice Rick, shit I did you a fucking favour killing that prick and bringing our little serial killer home safe and sound well that was just because I’m such a nice guy!” He completely ignores Rick’s question.

“Your shits at the gate! Take it and leave” Rick now exhausted more than anything just wants the man to leave.

Negan decides to humour Rick and leave for now.

“Okay! MOVE OUT”

He orders his people to start heading back giving Rick one last smile, he himself starts to walk to the trucks now loaded with all the supplies Rick had just gathered.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Carl trying to avoid his stare. He can tell that the kid’s still deep in thought, like he was in the truck. Negan decides against going up to talk to him instead he climbs into the truck and is once again faced with the idiot of a driver awaiting his orders.

“See you in two days kid” Negan almost sighs under his breath still tired from the long day he had. Negan sticks his arm out the window and brings his hand to the truck hard twice, indicating for them to move out. One by one the trucks all pull out and drive away leaving the Alexandrians with the aftermath of what they had left behind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of setting up! c:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i know i said this was going to be up Saturday and i'm sorry it wasn't, things happen. .3.
> 
> Thanks so much for everyone that enjoyed the first chapter! I know i'm taking a little while to get to just Carl and Negan and i'm sorry but i promise the next chapter things will happen?

The saviours trucks had left behind a cloud of smoke as the gate to Alexandria closed behind them leaving behind the carnage that had ensued whilst they were there. The effects of what had happened hit hard with Rick’s people, there were a mix of emotions in the air more prominently anger and grief for the ones they had lost.

Having moved both Olivia and Spencer’s bodies and prepared two holes that were needed. The community had gathered to perform a small memorial for their fallen friends, everyone in Alexandria had gathered to mourn the loss of their friends. All but one.

It took Rick only moments to realise that Carl wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

“Have you seen Carl in all the commotion? He should be here.” Rick had moved slightly closer to Michonne whispering as to not disturb the service, if you could even call it that.

“Not since the saviours left… I’m guessing by the question that you haven’t had time to talk to him”

“No. I had meant to but with everything that’s happened…” Rick had trailed off, anger consuming his mind. He grips Michonnes hand as the couples attention returns to the service, Enid now saying a little about Olivia’s kindness in letting her stay at her house.

Rick had the full intention of finding and talking to his son once the funeral was over, he hadn’t had the chance to worry about Negan coming back. As everyone started to disperse and continue the clean-up he was approached by Aaron and Gabriel, the two had happened to overhear Negans mention of coming for more supplies and unlike Rick they hadn’t forgotten.

“I assume were headed back out shortly then? Gabriel has gone over the supplies and it seems we just have enough food. As well as the bare minimal of basic medical supplies. But we have no idea what they’re going to take when they come back, it’d be best if we could try to gather up some more supplies before they get here.”

“Yeah, gather up whoevers willing and meet me at the gate in ten” Ricks hand glides over his forehead as his mind clicks back into gear and focuses on what needs to be done for his people.

Rick had searched around for Carl with no luck, deciding he would try his luck and check out their house before he had to leave, hoping Carl would be there he starts to jog over.

*****

Carl had headed straight home after Negan had left, mind still racing about what had transpired, still trying to ignore whatever it was he was feeling but he honestly didn’t really know. On top of that he hadn’t fully gotten over almost getting shot earlier In the day, when Arat had taken the shot she had barely turned to see who she was aiming at when she fired. Carl had watched in shock as he thought the bullet had hit him, the thud next to him had brought him back to reality turning to see  Olivia on the floor, a pool of blood now forming around her head.

He shoots Arat a glare, then at Negan and as he does he notices that Negans face displayed just as much worry as what Carl had been feeling. Now seeing this Carl ducks down to pretend to check on Olivia anything to not show weakness to the enemy, as he was looking at the bullet wound his mind went straight to what he had just seen. Had Negan really been worried about him?!

Carl had wanted nothing more than to just  go to sleep, to try and forget everything that had happened today, if only for a little bit. He knew that Negan had seen him staring as he walked to the trucks, he was also sure Negan had noticed Carls shock when Olivia had been shot, not because he was worried about her but himself. As he laid down to try and get some sleep he heard the door to the house close shut and footsteps climbing up the stairs, he didn’t need to guess who it was.

“Are you okay? What happened today? Did he hurt you?” the flurry of questions had just flown out of Rick’s mouth as he burst through the door.

“I’m fine” deciding to answer one question at a time, his answer had come across emotionless too tired to care at this point.

“Your sure? I don’t want to have to leave again if you’re not.”

“You’re leaving again?” Confusion now setting in on Carls face

“We have to go on another supply run, Negans coming back in two days for more … You should come with me, we could talk some more? You seem like you have a lot on your mind” Ricks attention had drifted to Carl now sitting down rubbing the bridge of his nose at the mention of Negans return.

“No I’m okay, I think it’d be best if I stay. Let Michonne know what I found out about the Sanctuary, and to help the clean-up.”

Carls mind had drifted during the rest of the conversation. He knew he hadn’t missed much, his father persisting for him to come and talking about how complying with Negan was necessary for their survival… Carl was tired of hearing his dads excuses. Instead his mind set back on Negan.

*Why should I even care?! He’s only coming to take more of our supplies* Carl shakes his head slightly to try and think about anything else.

He continued to fight feelings that he couldn’t identify or even pin point the meaning behind them, convinced he just needed sleep.

 His father had said goodbye and when Carl had heard the door shut, he finally felt as if he could relax, slowly trudging over to what he was now made to call a bed, consisting  of a single pillow and a couple blankets. Eyes heavy he finally drifted into a deep sleep hoping his thoughts would clear when he wakes up.

*****

The next morning had come far too quickly, the sun now beaming in through the window landing directly on his eyes. His eyes slowly starting to open, squinting Carl slowly gets up rubbing the stiffness out of his neck, ever since the saviours had taken all the mattresses he had been reduced to sleeping on the floor over the top of a few blankets. Carl would give anything to sleep in a bed again.

“Eugh forgot to close the curtains again” as he walked up to the window and peered outside catching a glimpse of a very angry looking Rosita storming towards the gate.

Finally deciding to leave his room he walks down the hall past Judith’s room, surprised to see his younger sister still in her crib smiling right at him, looking hungry.

With his sister now in his arms, the younger playing with one of his long strands of hair as they make their way down to the kitchen. The two enter the kitchen and Carl places Judith down on a blanket and goes to fetch the two some breakfast with whatever they have lying around. The only thing left in the house was some stale serial and a little bit of milk they had received from the hilltop, a frown forms on Carls face at the disappointing option, as well as a bed he would give anything for some pancakes the two would go hand in hand he thinks to himself as he grabs two bowls along with the cereal and milk and joins his sister on the floor.

Carl would often confine in Judith about how he was feeling or just little thoughts he had here and there. Rick had always been too busy to care which Carl was now use to, not that he wanted to talk to his father about everything. But talking to Judith always seemed to help, although his sibling couldn’t respond back or offer anything insightful into what he was thinking he didn’t care, just to get it off his chest gave him enough of the relief he needed.

“This man killed two of our friends, right in front of me. The feeling of hate is there but something else has taken over… I find myself oddly drawn to him, he’s…”

Carls mind try’s to pin point what it is he’s feeling, settling on the thought that Negan in a way understands Carl, more than anyone else.

“What am I going to do Judy?”

“What are you gonna do about what?”

Michonne had entered the room quietly completely avoiding Carl’s attention until making herself known with that very question. Carls mind was going frantic wondering how long she had been there and just how much she had heard.

“Trouble with Enid?” she had asked before Carl could even get a word in.

“…yeah! She uh wants to start going on runs wanting to help out more, I think she’s still upset about Glenn… I just don’t feel like it’s the best idea for her to be out there whilst still carrying those feelings” Carl had felt a small rush of achievement from the quick excuse he was able to conjure up.

“You might be right, people do un-predictable things when suffering through a loss. But if this choice is based on the grief she’s feeling then there’s a good chance nothing will deter her from those thoughts.”

“Trust me I know…” Carl lets out a sigh and turns to pick up the bowls now empty of cereal

Carl had finished the dishes and was now playing with Judith, whilst Michonne had finished an apple she had been hiding in her room. She finally turns her attention back to Carl watching as he plays with his sister, seemingly without a trouble in the world. But she knew better than that, she starts up another conversation.

“How come you didn’t go with your father on the run?” A valid question on her part

“Yesterday was long enough as it is. Besides I can’t aim what good would I be out there?” Slight anger in his voice Carl was still feeling the effects of losing his eye.

Michonne went to say more but she knew this was a touchy subject for Carl, she decided to drop it. Instead asking about the Sanctuary.

“Did you want to talk about what you saw yesterday?”

“Yeah I guess…” Carl figured he didn’t have to be completely honest about everything that had happened yesterday, he informs her about the many corridors and doors that made up the Sanctuary, as well as the iron.

Carl and Michonne had been talking for what seemed like forever when the two had finished their conversation Michonne went to take a tired Judith to bed, while suggesting for Carl to head out and help with the inventory (not that they had a lot left)

There was a small part of Carl that thought Michonne had heard more than she let on but the thought had been drowned out as the lack of supplies had taken Carl by shock, he knew Negan had taken a lot, but this much…

 He set to work now taking over Olivia’s job of making an inventory of everything they had left.

Before he knew it darkness had taken over Alexandria and he was again too tired to think about anything at all. Just wanting to sleep he sluggishly heads back to his room falling onto his so called “bed” not bothering to change or take of his shoes his eyes fall heavy and he’s back into a deep sleep.

*****

“Honey I’m home!” as usual Negan had arrived at Alexandria’s gate knocking with Lucille, smirk and all.

Carl had awoken to the sounds of the gates being opened, confused he rubbed his eyes slowly getting up to look out his window when it hit him, Negans here. An excitement had taken over Carl and before he knew it he was fully dressed and outside jogging over to Michonne who was watching the saviours loading up the pool table.

“My father’s not back yet… is he?”

“What do you think” they both shared a look of uncertainty before the two had noticed who was approaching.

“Colour me fucking surprised! And correct me if I’m wrong but is Rick not here again? In fact it seems like a shit ton of your people aren’t here… Is that the best move?”

“There out gathering shit for you!” Carl had started out strong and sure of himself before noticing Negans eyes had fallen on him, that strength had faded to reveal uncertainty.

“Well aren’t you fucking adorable kid!” Negan both shocked and impressed with his little serial killer.

“Anyway, Rick not being here will speed this shit along” Negan hadn’t shifted from Carl watching as he reacted to his words.

“Speed what along exactly?” Michonne now a little worried about the man’s true intentions

“Look as hot as you are that is none of your fucking business. But seeing as Ricks not here you’re going to give him a message for me!” Negan invading Michonnes space with a grin from ear to ear.

“You can tell our Ricky boy that Carls coming with me! And if he tries to pull anything other than running this fucking shit show into the ground, Carl will not come back… Alive that is!” He smiles over at Carl who’s now enraged at his words.

“No” Michonne had tried to protest more but the words weren’t coming out.

“Uh Uh Uh! No funny business.” He nods over at the kid with an evil smile testing what he had just said.

Negans arm flings around Carl possessively, Negans way of trying to reassure him that he won’t be harmed.

Negan gives Carl a minute to say his goodbyes before he’s forced into the truck.

Carl at a loss for words turns expecting to see the driver who had been there before but to his surprise Dwight was now sitting in the driver’s seat giving the kid a reassuring smile.

Nothing about this situation was reassuring.

“Nice to see you again kid!”

Carl still not quite grasping the situation doesn’t hear Dwight’s attempts at pleasantries and instead his focus is shifted onto what’s slowly becoming his addiction, Negan. Carl still felt anger towards the man but the confusion of the situation had overpowered him, here he was sitting uncomfortably in the truck unsure of what got him into this situation in the first place.

Snapping back to reality the truck was now moving and Negan was now sitting next to him arm out the window giving Alexandria the finger.

 Carl somehow knew this was the last time he was going to be seeing Alexandria for a while.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again Feed back and suggestions are greatly appreciated! this is my first time trying to write a fic and i'm loving it but also drowning in nerves. ^-^
> 
> Hopefully going to start writing the next chapter tomorrow! Also going to put my tumblr here as i'm new to the ship and would love to here from others! :3  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/knightmaretaco
> 
> (Also sorry for the terrible title, i suck at that kind of thing)


End file.
